The Bike Analogy

Good idea:
Share my new eating plan with everyone, so that I'm held accountable.

Bad idea:
Share my new eating plan with everyone, so that I'm held accountable.

I told my family. I told my friends. I told my church family. I told my work friends.
They all keep asking me how I'm doing. I'm not doing as well as I'd like.

Week One on the plan wasn't as perfect as I'd like. Neither was my second and third and fourth attempt at restarting the plan. I seem to quickly mess it up and get off track. I've eaten doughnuts. I've eaten M&M's. But it's not all bad: I've gotten back to running.

I'm not interested in perfecting this eating plan for just two weeks. I want to personalize it into something that I'm going to do forever. I need to make choices like, 'how often will I allow myself to eat a doughnut?', because the answer isn't 'never'. I need to be honest with myself, that I will never love plain Greek yogurt, so I need to stop buying it optimistically, and realize that two servings a week is the maximum that I can choke down. I need to accept that eating healthy creates ten times more dirty dishes, and know that in order to keep my sanity while washing them, I need to choose something to think about besides how much I hate washing dishes.

Someday, I'll be that person who eats healthy and exercises and makes it look easy. But today, I'm the kid who's learning to ride a bike, alternating between wobbling and crashing. I'm finding my balance, then I'll be able to gain momentum.

The Bike Analogy

Want It. As a child, I wasn't interested in having the training wheels taken off my bike until my best friend learned how to ride a bike. I hadn't been willing to risk it based on my parents' suggestions alone. But it was easy once I was ready and I wanted to learn. Just like my friend's bike riding success motivated me, everyone will have a different 'why' that motivates them to want to live healthy.

Get Back Up. I'm sure there are a few annoying people who hop on a bike for the first time and do great, but most of us got scraped up with wobbles and crashes when we learned to ride. That's what I've been doing the past couple weeks, but I have to keep getting up and getting on and giving it another go.

Practice. My parents have a paved part of their backyard, where my siblings and I would ride our bikes in a loop. There were very few variations that you could cram in. Clockwise. Counter-clockwise. Throw in a couple figure-eights just to be crazy. It was the same thing over and over and over. I've heard it said that healthy people generally eat the same thing every morning for breakfast (such as the mighty Breakfast Smoothie), and eat the same few things for lunch and dinner and snacks. Repetition helps. I don't need to try everything. I need to find what works for me and stick to it.

Keep Pedaling. Even if I get to the point where it's subconscious or it's easy, as in "It's like riding a bike", I can never stop. I may be able to coast for a little while, but eventually the bike will slow to a stop and fall over, leaving me scraped up on the asphalt. I don't always have to be in Tour de France mode, or have a Wizard of Oz attitude, I just have to keep pedaling.

Ride with Your Best Friend. My mom is doing such a fantastic job with healthy eating. I'm completely impressed with her effort, dedication, and enthusiasm. I'm so proud of her. She inspires me to have the motivation to get back up, practice, and keep pedaling.

"For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things,
having promise of the life that now is, and of the one which is to come."
1 Timothy 4:8

Some Guy's Eating Plan

I've completed the first week of a new eating plan... because I love running.

After several months of setbacks, I knew I wanted to lose the ten pounds I'd gained over the winter before I went back to running. I hadn't yet considered my method of weight loss, but deep down I knew that my main problem is sugar and carbs. I love them. But my steady breakfast of doughnuts, mid-morning snacks of tortilla chips, and afternoon candy bars were not allowing me to reach any goals. 

On February 17 (Monday), I was helping one of my favorite patients choose eyeglasses. She's really nice and I've liked talking to her in the past. She's one of those people you meet, who you instantly want them to be your friend. While looking at frames, she said that she'd recently lost 18 pounds. I asked what she was doing. She was following a diet by Dr. Oz, and she was impressed with it, because she hadn't been hungry at all. When I asked how long she'd been on it, I was expecting a New Years Resolution, so I was surprised when she said it had been about three and a half weeks. Eighteen pounds in three and a half weeks? I'm listening.

I went home that night and looked up the plan. Keep in mind that I've never watched Dr. Oz and I'm skeptical of all diets, especially fad ones or elimination ones, anything that seems unrealistic to keep up for the rest of my life. I watched four 5-minute videos, and twenty minutes later, I was interested. It's official name is Dr. Oz's Two-Week Rapid Weight-Loss Diet. You're supposed to be really strict for two weeks, then you can tweak it into something you can handle long term. He was up front in saying that you cannot go back to eating how you used to eat, or you'll gain it all back. Everyone in the audience had just completed the two-week plan, and lost an average of nine pounds each. Watch it for yourself to get all the details, but I was impressed with the simplicity of the plan. It all fits on one printed page!

I shared it with my family and a few friends. Everyone seemed interested, and I was leaning towards doing it, but what sealed the deal was that my mom said, "I'll do it if you do it." Done. 

By Wednesday, I'd bought rice protein powder and flax seed and unsweetened vanilla almond milk for the breakfast smoothies. Joel and I measured out the easy recipe for our taste test. Joel's review: "It's not like 'Wow! Cinnamon Toast Crunch!', but it has a certain sweetness to it." He started drinking them for breakfast the next day. He has replaced his morning cereal, which he's eaten every morning as long as I've known him, with these breakfast smoothies! I'm happy about it, because they're so much better for him, but I couldn't be more surprised. They're super food. Tastiness that keeps you full for four hours, and less calories than the two doughnuts that would keep me full for ten minutes. The breakfast smoothies are key!

Breakfast Smoothie math determined that they're around 350 calories, and cost about $1.75 each. (That's cheaper than my usual two doughnuts.)

On Saturday, I officially began the plan. I'm calling it "Some Guy's Eating Plan" for two reasons. First, the words 'eating' and 'diet' both boil down to the same meaning, but 'diet' comes with the idea of being deprived, which I am not. I'm simply choosing healthier options. Second, a certain member of my family doesn't like Dr. Oz. It's not Joel, because when I initially told him about the plan, he said, "I'll do anything that Dr. Oz recommends!" But for the sake of being able to talk about the eating plan around other family members, I have given Dr. Oz a code name: Some Guy. 

Day One on a new eating plan is always rough. I started the day with the Breakfast Smoothie. I went to the grocery store. I filled my cart with veggies. I made green peppers stuffed with ground turkey and brown rice for dinner. My morning was great, but my afternoon felt terrible. I felt foggy and exhausted because I had no sugar pick-me-up.

Day Two was the crucial Am-I-Going-To-Do-This-Or-What day. I purposely started on a weekend, because work days are hurried and stressful, and would have made things more difficult. Sunday morning was okay. I like my Breakfast Smoothies with a straw, but I still need to brush the extra flax seeds out of my teeth afterwards. No drinking these on the go. I stopped at QT for an iced tea and did not buy a doughnut. Iced tea is technically not on the plan, but I live on iced tea. Eventually I might be able to switch to iced GREEN tea, but not now. (Anyone who is interested in doing Some Guy's Eating Plan needs to watch the video for themselves, because I'm intentionally doing it with 90% accuracy, so don't base your choices on my version.) After church, I turned down going to lunch and made myself something at home. My nieces' birthday parties were in the evening. I can turn down cake and ice cream any day. They do not tempt me, so I wasn't worried. But when it came time to sing happy birthday, the candles were in a Dairy Queen ice cream cake, which is my favorite. I ended up having the tiniest little sliver (less than a finger's width), which kept me from throwing the whole plan out the window. It was the most delicious three bites of ice cream cake I've ever had. When I got home, I made butternut squash, tomatoes, asparagus, scallops, and baked chicken, which I fried up with a little bit of teriyaki sauce. It was the healthiest and most colorful dinner I'd ever made.

IMPORTANT: Butternut squash is DELICIOUS. It is my new stand-in for potatoes.

Day Three was terrific. Breakfast Smoothie always kicks things off. I ate cut up green peppers on my drive back from a funeral to work. I had a leftover stuffed green pepper for lunch, strawberry Greek yogurt in the afternoon, and a single serving package of almonds. (S.G.E.P. says plain Greek yogurt, but I can't choke it down by itself. It works as a dip or pretend sour cream. I chose the flavored yogurt with the highest protein and fiber and lowest sugar.) I felt really focused and energetic at work, which is never how I feel at work, so that's a big advantage. Dinner was teriyaki chicken, broccoli baked in the oven, and apples with cinnamon baked in the oven. (Apples are also not on the plan.)

Here's the thing about me and this plan. Flavored Greek yogurt and apples are not what made me overweight, and flavored Greek yogurt and apples are not going to keep me from losing weight, but they are going to keep me from eating something worse. I'm going to do what I have to do to stick to the 90% of the plan. I am not choosing to stick to 100% of the plan, partly because I know what I can and can't handle, and partly because my personality says "no one can tell me what to do" and hates anything that in any way attempts to control me. I may not lose the weight as fast as my family members who are sticking to the plan 100%, but being in control of small variations and sticking to the 90% of the plan means I can do this long term. 

Day Four. Breakfast Smoothie. I went to QT in the morning for an iced tea and caved to a doughnut. It tasted kind of like chemicals, and I went right back to the plan. I'm not perfect. Almonds mid-morning. Salmon and rice with soy sauce for lunch. Joel made dinner, because by that point, I'd made dinner three nights in a row, which is probably a Jean Record, and I absolutely hate making food. That's the worst part about all this, all the food prep and all the dishes. I like microwave-able things and I like packaged things and I like things handed to me through small windows and I like things that come in paper bags. I really do not like cooking. Joel made something new to us: tuna steaks. I was surprised that he'd bought them, because he doesn't like canned tuna. We both liked the tuna steaks, and their side-kicks: kidney beans, green beans, and spaghetti squash.

 
Day Five. Breakfast Smoothie. Almonds. Lunch from Crazy Bowls & Wraps: their 'super bowl' with veggies, salmon, brown rice, teriyaki sauce. Dinner was chicken and spaghetti squash. For about three hours during the afternoon into the evening, I felt like I was a hungry cartoon character, and everything I looked at changed to look like a food. If my own arm had been made of sugar or carbs, I'd have been in trouble. We went to church, and that distracted me from eating my own arm. When I got home, I had a frozen Greek yogurt. It has a decent amount of protein and fiber, and the same amount of sugar as a flavored Greek yogurt. Several months ago, Cathleen (a trainer and nutrition coach at my gym) recommended it to me. She said that her daughter eats them for breakfast, because they're quick and high in protein. I've decided that I can swap my daily Greek yogurt for one of these frozen ones if I really need something sweet. (They're found in the grocery store next the Healthy Choice frozen meals, not near the desserts.)

Day Six, I knew I was going into work later, so I varied my Breakfast Smoothie to be what I'm calling a "Fake Frappe". I added 1/2 cup coffee, 1/2 cup almond milk, three scoops rice protein powder, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, ice, and a little bit of honey. Yum! It didn't keep me full as long, without the flax seed, banana, and berries, but I knew we were celebrating Julie's birthday at work, and I'd be having a good lunch. Maybe this will be my Thursdays-only variation? Lunch was from Chipotle. I got my veggie burrito bowl as usual, but chose brown rice instead of white rice, did not add cheese or sour cream, and added lettuce. It was delicious and filling: brown rice, fajita veggies, lettuce, guacamole, and salsa. Almonds in the afternoon. By the way, a few weeks ago, these same almonds were bland and unsatisfying, and made me want to go get a candy bar. Now they are delicious. It goes to show that when you stop eating processed foods, real foods taste better.

Day Seven. Breakfast Smoothie, with some added cinnamon. Felt great... until I ate a doughnut on my way to work, which made me feel immediately tired. Lunch was chicken with some BBQ sauce and butternut squash (aka fake potatoes). When I got home from work, I had one of my Fake Frappes, because I hadn't dumped out the coffee that I made yesterday. Joel brought me home Chipotle for dinner. I'm not proud of Friday. I don't want to eat doughnuts. It's difficult to make these major lifestyle changes. It's easy to feel discouraged. But I know that if I keep making good choices, it will get easier.

I made a big mistake at the beginning of Week Two. I should have known better. I got on the scale. Joel had been telling me that maybe I'd be less discouraged if I could see some progress, and even said that he thought it was stupid that I wasn't getting on the scale. I had explained to him that getting on the scale would not enable me to run comfortably or to fit in the pants that I was able to wear last summer. I knew it was a bad idea when I started thinking about it on Saturday, but I rationalized it, telling myself that it was the first of March, and I hadn't weighed myself since the first of January, and it would be an even two months, and it was the longest I'd ever not weighed myself. I felt like the cartoon character with an angel and a devil on either shoulder, and the angel didn't win. The scale was the same as January. Actually, it was 0.2 more, which is like the same but insulting. So I don't know how many pounds I lost during my first week of Some Guy's Eating Plan, because I don't know how many pounds I'd gained in between January and last week. 

My clothes feel noticeable better. My pants that were tight last week are comfortable again. I have more energy and feel much better in general. In the end, I'm not doing this for pounds, I'm doing this to be a healthy person and to get back into running. Based on how my clothes feel, I estimate that I lost five pounds last week. 

The three best things about eating better:

1. Everyone's on board (my husband, my mom, much of my family, my manager at work). Not only is there a great support system, but it's harder to back out if everyone's doing it.

2. I feel better and I have more energy. 

3. Real food tastes better, and favorite tastes of processed foods can be faked with a little creativity. 

"Everything looks better, everything taste better. Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better." "Good. It's fudge mint." "Whatever. I'm reborn." -- Peter and Jack on 'While You Were Sleeping'.

Setbacks

set•back ('set-,bak) n. a problem that makes progress more difficult or success less likely.
 
In the Summer of 2013, I was running/exercising four times a week. I could consistently run five miles and my longest run was 7.7 miles. I was training for the Mo' Cowbell Half Marathon. My weight was the same as ever, but I was increasing my ability, building muscle, and thinking I could do anything. I never expected such tiny things to trip up my journey. 

During the first week of August, I was on a roll for doing something everyday. Personal training. Hiking at Castlewood State Park. Four mile run. Total Conditioning Class. Uncomfortable seats at a Cardinals game. Uh-oh... something in that mix left me with lower back pain. *TRIP*. 

After taking a week off, I got back to running. Five miles. Seven miles. Uh-oh... increased my mileage too quickly, so scaled back to shorter runs and swimming laps. *TRIP*.

Missed two weeks while preparing for and going on the Best Cruise Ever, which was well worth the *TRIP*. (Get it?)

Right when I was ready to jump back in to my routine, we went to a Cardinals game in 100 degree heat, and I felt sick the next day... and the next day... and the next day... for two weeks. I felt overheated on and off, especially in the evening, with a temperature one degree higher than usual, until I finally took a day off work and slept all day. *TRIP*.

Too many setbacks meant I had to give up participating in the half marathon. I deferred my registration to the following year, so I'm already signed up for the Mo' Cowbell in October 2014.

I lost momentum right before the holidays began. Even with Christmas and New Years over and done, I couldn't regain my enthusiasm or routine in the midst of bitter cold, Snowpocalypse, or never-ending-Groundhog's-Day winter. 

Current score: Hibernation mode - 1. Jean - 0. 

Yet there is a subtle difference. I may have lost my accumulated mileage. I may have gained ten pounds. I may be losing money on a gym membership that I am not utilizing. I may be struck down, but I am not destroyed. I am not giving up. I am a runner. I run with endurance. I desire to improve my health... and that's the difference. In years past, I wanted to want it. Now I know that accomplishment fuels accomplishment. Do it and you want to do it. I will keep going. I will complete a half marathon. I will run a 5k in under 33:00. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

The Entry Blank: How I Started Running

"The difference between a jogger and a runner is an entry blank." -- George Sheehan

My first entry blank was the Monster Dash 5k on October 31, 2010. 

My husband, Joel, asked me if I wanted to participate, since his company was helping to sponsor the event and wanted people to participate wearing shirts with the company logo. I printed the Couch-to-5k plan and got on the treadmill at the gym. It began with a workout of jogging 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds, and I could barely do it. My heart and lungs hated it. They were used to sitting, lots and lots of sitting (aka "Couch"). I distinctly remember when I ran a mile for the very first time in my life. I immediately hit the big red stop button, then sat on the floor with my head down, hoping I didn't pass out as I gasped for air. The next few times I ran, I would have to psych myself out for it before I got to the gym. I would tell myself over and over how far I was going to run. If any doubt or attempt to "try" crept into my head, my effort was over, and I couldn't do it. I hadn't finished the training plan when race day arrived, but it was my goal to run/walk the race, to finish in under an hour, and not to be last. I ran/walked. I stopped for *minutes* at the mid-way water station to catch my breath and chat. I wasn't last. I finished in 47:07, surprising Joel by crossing the finish line before he was looking for me. What I was surprised with was the sense of accomplishment. I was *so* proud of myself. 

I felt better than I had in years. Only a few months before, I was still under the burden of infertility, feeling like I had nothing to be proud of and nothing to show for my life. But 3.1 miles later, I was high on the sense of accomplishment. I pushed myself. I did something I didn't think I was capable of. Most people I knew had never done a 5k. Though I've done many more since then, I will never forget the feeling of the first race I finished.

My second entry blank was over a year later. I signed up for the Fight For Air Stair Climb, ascending 40 flights of stairs at the Metropolitan Building, downtown St. Louis. I was the last of our group to reach the top (24:23). Garrett, Mary, Joel, and Diane all beat me. They were all in much better shape then I was, yet it had been my idea to form a team, join the event, and support the American Lung Association. 

I did five 5k's in 2012:

Make Tracks for the Zoo
O'Fallon Firecracker Run
JCC Labor Day Run
Hunger Run
Stampede for Stroke (my parents' first 5k!)

I ran/walked all of them. In November, I unexpectedly saw a good friend at the start of the Hunger Run. Michelle suggested that we run together, and even though I tried to talk her out of it, saying that I'd hold her back, she insisted. I was already consistently running one mile at a time, and the farthest I'd ever continuously run at that point was 1.5 miles. The 1 mile marker was my personal reminder to feel out of breath and nervous about pushing myself, and to take a walking break. Michelle obliged my usual walking break, and proceeded to coach me through my insistence that I needed another walking break. Instead of walking, we slowed to a jog, kept up the running form, and lowered my panic. Once I realized I could catch my breath without walking, we sped up again. I ran farther continuous than I had before. Michelle not only showed me how to pace myself, but proved to me that I could have more endurance than I had previously believed.

My favorite running place is Creve Coeur Lake Memorial Park, with a 3.75 mile paved loop around Creve Coeur Lake. One early December evening, shortly after Michelle's inspiration, I was determined to jog an entire 5k, without walking. Joel came with me to Creve Coeur and walked alongside me while I jogged the path. I jogged the entire 3.75! For Christmas, Joel bought me a pink Garmin Forerunner 10 GPS watch, which tracks pace, mileage, time, and calories. Being able to glance at some numbers and know whether to slow down or speed up has helped me push myself even more.

Next milestone (get it? that's a pun about running) was the Commitment Day 5k... by myself... on January 1... early in the morning... downtown... while it was 26 degrees and icy outside. I signed up for it early on, then tried to talk people into joining me, but no takers. When my alarm went off that morning, Joel had already left for work. No one was depending on me. It was cold outside. It was cold in the basement where I was cozy and comfortable under an electric blanket. Deep down, I knew that my whole year depended on that day. Was I going to give up or push myself? So I crawled out of my nest, dressed warm as possible, and drove downtown. When I pulled into a parking space on the same block as the start line, I realized I'd left my mp3 player at home. Cold, icy, alone, no music... and the temptation to turn around and go home. George Sheehan might say that I became a runner when I put my name on the first entry blank. Before that morning, I'd have said that I ran and that I did races. But for some reason, getting out of my warm car and completing that bitterly cold and hilly race confirmed in my mind the reality: I am a runner.

I went on to do these races, for a total of nine in 2013:

St. Patrick's Day Run For The Helmet 7k
Celebrate Life 5k (held at Creve Coeur Lake; photos below)
Ferguson Twilight 10k (photos below)
Superhero 5k
O'Fallon Firecracker Run 5k
Run Like A Hawk 5k
Hunger Run 5k
Kirkwood/Webster Turkey Trot 3Mi

 

 

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -- Hebrews 12:1-2

My More Successful Journey

[One of my goals for 2014 is to write a blog once a week. I started this blog eight months ago, with the history of my overeating, lack of fitness, and attempts to improve. My notable progress starts where I left off.]

Something changed in August 2012.

I had been seeing my personal trainer since January 2012. Unlike the visits to the personal trainer at 24-Hour Fitness, I left my sessions with Paul feeling inspired and encouraged. He introduced me to strength training in a new way. Strength training and I were acquaintances before. I'd be like, 'Hey. How's it goin', Strength Training. See ya around, I gotta go catch up with the Elliptical.' Who knew that you could burn calories while strengthening muscles? Who knew that push ups and squats would leave you so sweaty? Who knew that moving those heavy ropes, Biggest Loser style, would send your heart rate flying? (It looks so easy on television, but trust me, it's the most difficult thing that the gym offers.) Paul would demonstrate an exercise, then I would think, 'I can't do that', and I'd be wrong! As I was able to do more and more, my confidence was built, and I learned to push past my usual quitting point.

Years ago, when I was on the St. Ann Swim Team, I was never the best. My only second place ribbon was due to several swimmers being disqualified. I remember that I always gave up in the last few lengths. Everyone said, 'Finish strong!' I finished leisurely. My last strokes of every race defined my athleticism. I did not believe I could do it, therefore I did not do it.

Quitting was my track record. Quitting was what I did with the best consistency. When things got hard or when I didn't like them, I quit. In regards to weight loss, that usually happened around the eight month mark. In 2003/2004, I counted calories for about eight months. My first round of Weight Watchers lasted eight months. My first membership to 24-Hour Fitness was canceled after eight months. The vicious cycle was about to repeat itself in August 2012.

On a Saturday morning, I went to my appointment with Paul. I was particularly discouraged. The scale wasn't moving. I enjoyed going to the gym. I felt better. But the scale was the exact same as when I joined the Jewish Community Center... eight months prior. I don't remember the exercises that I did that day, but I remember the conversation with Paul. He asked how often I got on the scale. Everyday. Sometimes twice a day. It was in my bedroom. I stopped there every morning. Paul said that there are many ways to measure fitness, and that the scale's measurement gives a limited view. He pointed out the ways I had become stronger in the past months. He suggested basing progress on measurements, how clothes fit, or how much energy I had. He challenged me to not step on the scale until our next meeting. I acknowledged this idea, without intention of following through. But at the end of the session, he asked that I promise him that I wouldn't get on the scale, and I said the words, 'I promise.' When I got home, I immediately took the scale down to the basement, and buried it in the storage room.

Paul's advice for the six weeks of not weighing myself: "Do your best".

If anyone would have asked me if I was addicted to the scale, I'd have said no. People are addicted to substances, not scales. But I was very addicted. The scale haunted me from the basement, and it took every bit of my decision making to stay away. I craved it's feedback. I felt constantly conflicted, not knowing how I was doing, because only the scale could tell me. I'd have caved if I hadn't promised. I was detoxing from my scale addiction.

Besides being surprised that I was addicted, I was also surprised at how it changed my outlook. I made choices based on what was best for me, not based on the opinion of an inanimate object. When the scale told me a gain, I'd feel bad about myself and struggle with quitting or not trying. When the scale told me a loss, I'd feel that I should reward myself for working so hard, and that I could take it easy for awhile. Without the scale, I worked harder and I ate better, and focused on 'doing my best'. At my next appointment, I had lost two pounds... and I had gained freedom.

The scale has remained in the basement to this day. It is an unnecessary tool.

I get on it occasionally, every week or two, and then only on Saturdays. I no longer use it to measure my progress. Instead, I judge my progress by how many times a week I work out, by how many miles I log, by my work pants being looser or tighter, by my increased endurance, and even by little things, like my husband thinking that I wouldn't be able to lift my four-year-old niece over my head, and then me proving him wrong.

In February 2013, much to my surprise, I was interviewed for the JCC's quarterly magazine.



I count my victory over the scale as one of my proudest accomplishments.

My Unsuccessful Journey

"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable."

It's what Vizzini told Inigo Montoya in "The Princess Bride". And it's what anyone would have told you about my ability to be athletic. Until recently.

I grew up on snacks and soda. I was given well-rounded lunches and dinners. I tried and liked most common vegetables. But I never ate breakfast. My brother and I would eat a pan of oven-baked French fries, covered with American cheese, as our late night television snack. I never learned to enjoy drinking water. I rode my bike and climbed trees. Because I grew up before the internet, when not everyone had a gaming system, and when kids could still go play outside unattended, I was never an overweight child or teenager. Perhaps in today's society, with different activities and the same diet, I may have been.

My metabolism slowed during my two years of Bible college. Out of my parents house, I reveled in the new found freedom of going to McDonald's at 11pm, without having to tell anyone. I knew the coffee shop's hours, not because I drank coffee, but because I picked up my daily Diet Coke and candy bar. I sat still for hours upon hours in classes and doing homework. I didn't enjoy taking a walk unless it was to get away from my many roommates, and even then, my walk only served the purpose of finding a quieter place to sit.

I went from 140 lbs to 155 lbs during my two years of Bible college in California. I knew I should lose weight, but somehow my body manipulated those 15 lbs to still fit in my same size clothes.

Twenty years old, while picking a wedding dress, I thought that I should lose 10 lbs, but didn't care to do it. I found the perfect dress, and the tag showed a size I was still happy with. During the first year of marriage, living in Indianapolis, we ate inexpensively, with lots of frozen pizzas and dollar packages of peanut butter cookies from Wal-mart and constant Diet Cokes. I gained another 7 lbs, which required another size up in clothes.

From there, we moved back to Missouri and I gained a pretty consistent 5 lbs per year, which is the standard American female weight gain when left unchecked. Two and a half years into marriage, I was 173 lbs. I bought a calorie book and counted everything I ate. Over two months, I lost 7 lbs, down to 166 lbs just before my brother's wedding, which entailed a three week trip to California. By the time we'd eaten at every restaurant in the state, I had given up counting unknown calories. After all, it was the days before smart phones with calorie-tracking apps. Gained that back and then some.

Fast forward two years, at 5 lbs per year, and my weight was 184 lbs at my first Weight Watchers meeting, attended with my parents and sister-in-law. I lost 10 lbs. I had learned much about eating healthy, but I was not exercising at all. I also still relied heavily on food for comfort, so my weight climbed when I started sinking into my four years of infertility. (Did you catch the double meaning of my blog title? The more important definition is 'unlikely'.)

Two years later, and apparently those 5 lbs a year count from your highest weight, because now I was at 194 lbs. My new approach was to join a gym. I picked 24-Hour Fitness, which had a location close to home and near work. I'd go after work a few times a week, and while I didn't fall in love with exercising, I recognized the stress relief that it provided, both from work and from the frustration of not having the life I'd expected to have. Again, I lost 10 lbs. But this time, I was exercising without changing what I was eating. Same cycle, I kept it off for awhile, then slacked off going to the gym, and the weight crept back on.

I was only 190 lbs (up 6 lbs from most recent effort) when I had a really bad holiday season. Between Thanksgiving and New Years, I gained 15 lbs. At this point, I had the food knowledge and I had the exercise experience, but food was still my comfort through stressful and depressing times. In addition to rapidly gaining weight, I also passed out (with a crashing middle-of-the-night fall) on my in-law's bathroom floor in the middle of the night during our Christmas visit.

At my maximum weight of 205 lbs, I knew that I'd only continue to climb unless I made changes. So without recognizing it, I followed the same progression as I had in earlier years, but this time in succession. First, I counted calories to get under 200 lbs, but unfortunately, this happened at the same rate of gain, so that after a year, I was only down 5 lbs. Next, I joined Weight Watchers, this time with my husband. We revamped our style of eating, eliminating frozen pizzas from our grocery list, and spending much more of our budget on produce. I lost another chunk of weight, bringing my lowest WW number to 186.8 lbs. Finally, I added exercise by joining a higher end gym, the Jewish Community Center. My theory that nicer amenities, locker rooms and pool would inspire me to go more often proved correct. After a year and a half, I still go to "the J" on a regular basis, though I have quit Weight Watchers in order to afford personal training.

Something changed in August 2012.